i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
