The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
