discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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