that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Randomize
