Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
she pinky promised me she was 18
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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