STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize