Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
