Jerry, you need to find god
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
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