uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Randomize
