Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
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