I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
