quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
