You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
