He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
