Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
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