You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
