I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
