I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
