If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
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