I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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