we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize