Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize