she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Randomize
