OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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