THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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