I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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