i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
