I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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