No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
The best walk of shames are on the highway
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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