If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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