So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
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