Its about making memories worth repressing
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
