maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Randomize
