I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
