I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
