508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Bang-toberfest begins!!
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
