their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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