Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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