No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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