I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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