We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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