I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I need to sanitize my soul.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
