wakey wakey hands off snakey
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
