She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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