Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Randomize
