well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
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