Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
then he tried to convert me to islam
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
