Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
