If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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