you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
