As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
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