omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
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