lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
I miss vodka workout Fridays
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Randomize
