He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
