This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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