I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize