Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
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