You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize