allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
