mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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