yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
you never un-have a 4some
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
