Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
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