May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
