Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I AM VODKA MAN
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
Randomize
