is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Randomize