the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
