hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
it's great music for shaving your balls
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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