Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
