Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
