he puts the penis in happiness.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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